I will go to places… I said to myself when the new year came…
I just dont know when … and where…or how.
Money can be an issue but I believe I can work for it . The moment new year hit, and with every late night realizations the urge to travel beats like raging drum in my heart. It invaded every thoughts of sleep…Alas gave me more eyebags to hide and more lost bets with him…
I want to travel. I want to board a plane… I want to see something else badly this year.I am not a traveler, not even close to an adventure type but I have this feeling of eagerness to be on a plane. An eagerness to be on a place far from here and maybe just a little bit closer there… closer to where he is…
I will go to places I hear myself say ! LOUD & CLEAR.
I hear it repeatedly on my head, like a music on loop , it goes over and over again. It made me wonder…
‘ I will go to places.‘
I asked myself quietly. Hoping to find an aswer, I asked again… Why do I want to go to places?
I felt my lips turn into a half smile half frown, and say …
” How many times do I have to say it aloud that I will go to places that I will go to places , till he understands it was and has always been because of him … ” talking like a mad man as if he will hear me.
“I will go to places till I see him, to see him”
“How many times do I have to express I will go to places for him to realize I can be gone… I can leave… I can be lost ..”
“How many times I have to shout through my head that I can go to places , so I will stop waiting, and maybe I will stop chasing too….”
“I will go to places to run away , to run to you or maybe to run away, to run away from you ”
“I will go to places , of different direction till, we cross paths and meet again”
“I will go to places till you find yourself chasing me…
till you find out that what you’re looking for isnt out there … it might have been here already… you just didnt look.”
“I will go to places till this feeling of traveling the world leaves me”
“I will go to places till my memories of you were replaced…”
“I will go to places till I forgot the reason why I boarded a plane.”
“I will go to places till I see the world in your eyes and then maybe …. just maybe I will understand why you left this place..”
“….. then just maybe I will understand you more… and tragically love you more…”
Inspired by reading poem books and late night self talks. Indeed I will go to places as I promised myself. I will go to places this year indeed but it will be a happier journey . I really need to explore and connect . Sorry this poem /essay is quite sad but no worries I dont intend to travel the world with sadness. Well I wonder how many people relate to this tho. Send me your ideas and let me know.
Feel free to repost , reblog or share just dont forget the credits .
Thank you Loves and have a blessed day.