Last week I was so down, bent and almost breaking. It is too personal to talk about it in the internet but I would love to share some personal discovery that I got .
“I am well loved by my parents “. Just like you I live my life like nobody cares, I am passionate with everything I do and I neglect my parents most of the time but last week they showed me they cared.
“I learned that distance never matters with people who really loves you .” Yes distance can cause you paronia and will push you to your edge but distance will also show you the true people that cares. Over the past few days my beloved best friend across continents made time for me to cheer me up in call or voice message.
“We are never alone”. We might be the most introvert person in the world but at the very end when it comes to breaking heart people who cares will hear it , and will help you build it .
“It is OKAY , NOT TO BE OKAY”. Sometimes admitting the problem will really help you deal what is really the problem. Being okay is a matter of choice and so does choosing not to be okay .
“We BLEED just to know were ALIVE”. Took this line from GOO GOO DOLLS “IRIS” , it is similar to what my brother told me , you ask for things for reasons. I told him “that maybe I did what I did that time to keep breathing to remember I am aive.” That time it doesnt make sense to me what happened, but it made me learn things, I might have asked that so he would know my worth and in the end what I learned is what my own worth .
“It doesn’t matter how much you matter to him, what matters is you matter period “. We kept defining our lives with numbers and values. We always try to know our worth by the money we make , the number of friends we have , the grades that we achieve and even the love that we recieve than what we give. I am a 21 year old woman turning 22, this experience taught me that it doesnt matter, how much you matter, what matters is that YOU MATTER .
I dont want to count how much he loves me , all that matter is he loves me. And all that is left to me is to trust him. If I wanted to have s Mature relationship with him I should stop asking for reassurance, the only person needs to give me ASSURANCE &VALIDITY is myself. It wont be easy but as a friend also told me …
“YOU wont find your happiness with him, he cant give you the happiness you are looking for. You can only find the happiness your looking for with your self alone , and GOD.”
She is right! I cant find the happiness I am looking for. I can never love someone if I cant learn to love myself
An I want to share that to everybody. We can never love someone or something if we never learn how to love ourself. Here are some Sites & Blogs that I am reading so atleast I will have some guide on how to start Loving my own.
I am hoping this little blog posts can be start of your journey in loving yourself. Some times it is not wrong to be selfish about ourselves.
I know one of the keyes why I was suffering last week was because I was so selfish with my boyfriend I actually wants to keep him mine , forgetting that he has hi own mind , own heart and own life too.
I must admit I am still scared that he will cheat on me or chose his 5 year ex girlfriend over me but there is difference in the fear I am feeling right now that the one I had before last week. Right now the difference is I am much more worth it . The difference is I am loving myself I am not saying it wont hurt if that happen… I know time might come , and I know that will freakin hurt like hell and I might take my life away again but the difference is I wont be alone . I have myself and the people that loves me.
” I have learned that materias are only temporary…” I have always thought that shopping will make me feel better . It wont . the company I’m keepin in every shopping sessiosn when I am down are the ones that mkes me happy .
“They might be just there for gossips or for fun , but people who cares will always understand.True friends will respect you and the other party…”
My set of friends are younger than me , most of the time I feel like I cant be dumb in front of them or they would understand but I was wrong .. They are growing up too.
Most importantly , I have learned the difference of “alone” and “lonely”. They are words that can be put together or associated with one another but they can both mean differently. You can be alone and be happy but you can never be happy when your lonely. It is always a matter of choices.
I hope this simple story telling of mine helps you realize some points in your prsonal life. Remember somethings might work for me but not withyou or viceversa.
Catch me as I move forward with my dreams and goals in the future.
Keep blooming !!!