“You helped me see… The beauty in Everything…”

Been missing blogging for a while . I guess the almost eternal winter here in Winnipeg makes me bundle up much that I become lazy in dressing up. And since this morning we hard our spring forward and the weather have been nice for the whole weekend, I found this as an opportunity to dress up, been missing it much I guess.
Also have been practicing posing again and finding angle. I am still not used to the fact that the love of my heart is behind the camera. Well let me share to you why… One I feel uncomfortable ( because eventually he knows when I am not really feeling IT… the moment of an artistic photo ) . Two he makes me laugh , and when I say laugh it was really A LAUGH… which turns my photos quite blurry since I have been moving a lot as I laugh. Even though there is a huge Upside for me when he started taking my photos… One I am no longer that dependable on my tripod ( just except when WE are the OOTD models) . Two he successfully made my photos more REAL. I am not saying my photos before were fake but he have this talent of making the inner woman in me to come out and the outcomes are these.
All my life no one have told me what to do. Basically because my parent believed that I am having my own mind and I know whats wrong and right and to be honest this past few weeks I have been breaking rules and I have felt so much guilty on it that I can’t even accept a lunch date this Saturday. Another struggle for me is I have been spending much time on learning how to react but the truth is I am getting worse. For a long time I have been tangled on a web of lies and in some point I have been catching my breath as learn that some of the threads are now tearing apart. My past will always haunt me due to a fact that I haven’t forgiven myself. I always see that you can forgive yourself but I must admit I have been chasing forgiveness and still looking for myself and I am catching my breath , loosing a chance to breathe, I am the only person who is holding me back. Until when I realized that I have the passion to serve the Lord. I am not perfect more and more I’m realizing that my attitude is worsening but compared to the girl I used to know. Living a life with God is much better .. Now I am catching my breath and letting it Go and now surrendering it to God. He helped me see the beauty in everything…
The beauty that life was reacting to be imperfect. The beauty behind its perfection is that there is One God that is waiting from you to turn to him despite of these imperfection.
As for my passion on fashion , I am blessed to have such material things but mostly best to have a boyfriend , patient enough to let he catch my breath and adjust into changes , but more importantly, the love that I found in God , helps me have a light as a cloud feeling compared to the heavy heart.

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