But love and science – they are both gambles. And of you try to win the sun you must be also prepared to lose everyday.”
  – In this Galaxy
I am just at the fourth day of the weekend and this were ranging fast in my life. Last Thursday is a day to remember I went out with him and go to my favorite Starbucks stall at Downtown. He doesn’t know how happy I was when I’m with him, my journal knows.. Well then that night I can’t sleep its like I refuse to sleep, something in my mind is popping, that is when I woke up and have decided to watch TFIOS…
You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world…but you do have some say in who hurts you. “

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

 Yes, this line made me realize that I have the choice who hurts me and at that moment, I have decided that I choose him to have that power.  Until friday came, it was fun, and bitter-sweet I hate seeing him frown. Unknowingly I hugged him and told him he deserves to be happy ( some details can’t be shared its for me to keep) . Weekend came Saturday was kinda harsh, he decided to throw in a question and answer portion and I think there’s a question left hanging to be said ..Sunday came and we decided to go off somewhere for the Monday afternoon…
Monday can’t be in details but one thing am happy.. When I’m with him I am happy… Now the issue is with me , im afraid of pain…but I am happy and I wanted to be happy . He told me he knew the two sides of the coin, he know me both good and bad and yet he was there still sitting beside me.
Tuesday is far up beat, 11:11 are my favorite wishes. He doesn’t know that since I met him all my 11:11 wishes are meant for him. Meant for his happiness, I don’t particularly for him to be mine but I do have that wishful thinking.
He admitted something and it was sweet and uplifting it’s like I was trying to catch him and he let himself be caught. Wednesday….. Yes im at the peak of Euphoria… Whenever I am missing whenever I walks out no one ever tried to look for me , no one tried to follow me and its something he have done.
I don’t want to get used to it but I don’t want to let go. I want him and if he is here to stay I love the way what we are.. I am overwhelmed of how he gives me importance.. I know he knows how much I could sacrifice for love. I don’t want to be fast but don’t want to let go…
I have been single for almost 3-2 I guess, I think its time I grew up and be brave enough. I am happy and this happiness is worth it.. What ever we are having right now… I am lifting it to God.

Love ,



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